And so today the darkness came.
I have suffered with depression for more than 20 years now but over the last 10-15 years it has not been as severe as it was when I was a teenager. Those were truly the dark times; borderline suicidal, unable to form relationships with my peers, listless, hostile etc and so on, all the classic symptoms.
As I’ve progressed in to adulthood it’s become more manageable, less utterly debilitating but still affecting none the less. Just having the experience of living with it for years, understanding how to manage it and knowing that however bad things seemed it would always get better at some point have all helped.
Until today. Today the gates blew open and the darkness returned, not just a little but the full, black, vision impairing wings of madness. At points this morning I was probably only one thought from going & standing in front of a bus.
This terrifies me. I thought I had left this all behind along with pimples & bad glasses. I guess it never leaves you though. A lesson has been learnt today.
